Hanging outdoor Christmas lights is one of the best ways to bring Christmas joy into your life: NOT! There is a demonic stranglehold on this annual outdoor activity. I’ve made a commitment to fast and pray before hanging the lights next year to break this cycle of satanic attack. This year I hung my lights in a record 95 minutes on an unusually warm day. When I got the last strand hung I discovered that at both ends of the lights I had a female connector preventing me from plugging them in…Oh what JOY! I went down to the local hardware store to get a male to male connector.I erroneously assumed there was such an item. I figured this would be an easy fix and I still had a modicum of joy in my life. The man at the hardware store informed me that they don't sell that item.
"It's a fire hazard", he explained. At this point I don't really care if my house burns down because I've got my flipping Christmas lights up! A little less joy.
Then he asked me, “What did you do hang your Christmas lights backwards?”
He chuckled a little bit as these words came out of his mouth. I felt like punching him in his belly that looked like a bowl full of jelly. Joy is quickly waning.
He then added, “You’re going to have to start over”. No JOY!
The next day it’s cold and wet while I’m re-hanging my lights the correct way. What JOY!
I read some tips on the Internet for hanging outdoor Christmas lights that I thought I would share with you. Although I’m sharing these tips I do not necessarily agree with them.
Tip # 1 – Plan early to hang your lights. – Yeah like right after Easter. It takes a good 4 months to untangle them.
Tip #2 – Test your lights before hanging them. – Just beware that what works on the ground does not work on the eaves of your house.
Tip #3 – Gather the proper tools before starting. - Like what? A couple of eggnogs and a Valium? Maybe a priest that practices exorcisms.
Tip #4 – Get your spouse to help you. – Let’s pause here and think about this one. It’s a test for any marriage to hang Christmas lights. Make sure you go into this activity with some prayer and a licensed marriage counselor on retainer. There are some things that you should avoid saying while you are sharing this joyous activity together. Here is a helpful list:
•Did you tie these in knots when you put them away?
•Have you been drinking eggnog?
•Up a little higher…you can reach it…go for it.
•Just hold the ladder and keep your mouth shut.
•Look honey I found two more strands!
•You have two red lights together. The color scheme is all messed up.

Remember these are examples of what not to say to each other while hanging outdoor Christmas lights. You are not to infer that my wife has ever said any of these things.
It’s hard work to get the lights shining in the neighborhood. But when it’s all done and it works its well worth it. JOY!
We learn this about Jesus in John 1:5, “The Life-Light blazed out of the darkness; the darkness couldn't put it out” (The Message). Now that’s Christmas Joy!
Oh…Tip #5 – After Christmas remove your lights from the house and throw them away. It’s easier to buy new lights next year than untangle the old ones. JOY!

With Christmas joy,
Pastor Tim