1. Give your kids your self first, rather than stuff. Many dads get caught in the trap of giving stuff when really our kids want us. Don’t misunderstand. Providing for one’s family is biblical. First Timothy 5:8 calls the man who fails to provide for his family’s needs “worse than an unbeliever.” But the temptation I’m referring to goes far beyond the basic level of need. It’s the toys vs. time battle: a dad’s desire to make up for his long hours and absence by unloading material stuff on his family rather than being there when he is needed. Like in the bleachers during ball games or in the audience during a band concert, like by your child’s side when the homework calls for a father’s encouragement. Nothing takes the place of a father who gets involved.
2. Save your best for home, not work. Nobody has an endless supply of emotional energy, creativity, enthusiasm, ideas, humor, leadership drive, and a zest for life. How easy it is for dads to use up all those things at work, leaving virtually nothing for the end of the day. As a result, the wife and kids get only the leftovers. Fathers, our families deserve better! By failing to pace ourselves, by not deliberately saving some of our creative energy for home, we tend to be listless, negative, boring, and predictable around the house. How rare are those unselfish men who think ahead, maintain right priorities, and keep their families surprised by joy.
3. Make sure you listen and learn and not just lecture. James 1:19 is worth a look, here: “My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” (NIV). When things get out of hand at home, it’s our normal tendency to reverse the order James suggests. First, we get mad. Then, we shout (lecture No. 38 . . . or is it No. 39?). Last, we listen. When that happens, we get tuned out (I’ve learned that the hard way). Our family members may stop. They may look. But they aren’t listening. They go through a slow burn. It’s a sobering realization, dads, but our home is not an extension of the office . . . and our wife and children are not employees. Maybe we get respect automatically where we work, but at home we must earn it the old-fashioned way. We must work for it.
4. Nobody's perfect. So don't expect your kids to be. We fathers can be extremely unrealistic, can’t we? It does me good to remember that a .350 batting average is considered tops in the big leagues. That means the professional ballplayer swings and misses well over half the times he’s at the plate. Yet .350 means that he’s still considered the batting champ. In fact, if he keeps that up long enough, he’s Hall of Fame bound. Sure is easy to set our expectations for the wife and kids out of reach, expecting them to bat a thousand. Fathers are commanded not to exasperate their children (Ephesians 6:4), which suggests being an annoyance, an irritation, one who causes grief. An exasperated kid is one who can’t jump quite high enough, thanks to a demanding father who mistakenly thinks good coaching means always raising the bar.
5. The greatest gift we leave our kids is a legacy of faith in God. Kids are blessed to have dads who love and trust God with all their heart. Kids are blessed to have dads who lead the family spiritually. Never underestimate your role as the spiritual head. If your wife is running circles around you in this area, that tells me a lot more about you than about her. And don’t think the kids don’t notice, and wonder. Leaving a spiritual legacy of faith for our kids is a gift that gives for all of eternity!

Happy Father's Day!

Pastor Tim

# posted by Pastor Tim @ 1:01 PM